The Table of Truth - Chapter Two, Part 6

Part 6

What’s Best


“I don't want any trouble around my children,” I told him.
“Our children,” he reminded me. I had put them into another room so Diego and I could talk in the living room. I had let him in that far. I didn't want him to stay. But he persisted. “There won't be any trouble with the drug dealers or the cops. I went straight. I told the cops everything they wanted to hear. That's why they let me out early.”
“So now those gangsters are going to come searching for you. They'll come here and the children will be in danger!”
“No they won't,” he said. “They think I got out for good behavior. They've got no idea that I said anything.”
“You're a bad influence on them. How good is a daddy that goes off to jail? I don't want Diego Jr. to grow up like you!”
“I did it all for you, Marisela. I wanted you to have the big house and the money to do what you want. I wanted you to be able to stay at home with the kids and not have to work. But I know now. That wasn't the way to do it. I want to be responsible and take care of my family. I'm done with the drugs. Done with the gangs. I just want to take care of my babies.”
I stopped arguing and considered. I heard a door creek open. The children were leaning further in to hear my reaction. I figured they had been listening all along, but I still told them to close the door and go to bed.
“It's only 5:00,” Diego Jr. said.
“Just do something in there,” I snapped.
Diego wasn't so sharp with them. He crouched down and looked Diego Jr. in the eye. “Diego, my boy,” he said. “Wow, you've really grown. You look as big as a boxer. And Tino. You aren't a baby anymore, are you?”
“What about me?” Mario demanded.
“You're the most handsome of the lot. Are you all taking care of your sister?”
They nodded. I could tell he had gotten through to them immediately. Now I was the bad guy if I didn't let him stay. Their stares at me said it all. And to be honest, I wanted him there, too. I missed having someone beside me to raise the children. To go to sleep with and wake up with. I had gotten used to getting by without him. But having him there brought back all the memories of comfort when he was near.
That night when we were alone except for Mona in her crib, he pulled off my clothes and presumptuously made love to me. I didn't mind. In fact, I missed having sex with someone who wasn't paying. Somehow, having money involved had taken away the fun of sex.
I realized as we came close to climaxing that this was the main reason I had let him back in. Yes, it was for the children. Yes, it was so they would have their father in their lives. Yes, it was for the companionship. Yes. Yes. Yes! But mostly it was so I could make love to one man who would be there in the morning.
While we lay in the darkness I told him he could stay. I told him the children had missed him and would be glad to grow up with him there. But he needed to live up to that trust. Most importantly, I told him that he couldn't imagine the hard times I had gone through while he was in prison.
He merely grunted. Pulled a pillow over his head. And went to sleep.

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